So today I went to www.JohnKerry.com because I was reading the 37signals.com blog [Dang, I’m linking all over the place here]. There, smack-dab on the top of the page, is this image:

The image is called "vision.jpg". That is just too much! The things I see when I read this are as follows:

Vision
Yes, John Kerry is looking at John Edwards and he’s saying, “Ouch, my bowels hurt, I shouldn’t have eaten that corn in Iowa. Because it really didn’t go with the other crap they serve on the bus. At least my wife’s organic ketchup was better for me than the stuff crammed with High-Fructose Corn Syrup” [OK, so I may have read a little into that]. His vision may have been blurred by the spittle that just shot out of Edward’s open mouth. If you squint a little bit you can almost see another house in the background, or it could be a groundskeeping shed because I guarantee you that John Kerry is not getting a photo shoot done in downtown Manhattan where you might see something that says ‘homies’ instead of ‘homey’. You might see “inner-city troubled youth” rather than, “An older man talking to someone else of youth.” You might see that John Edwards is looking for some person who is ready to sue big time in a class action suit since the City of Manhattan has not kept up the roads and they chipped a toe-nail in the pot hole they stepped in.

Shirts
You might also see that these two politicians are wearing nice cotton shirts that speak to the every-man, as long as every-man is wearing a cotton shirt, sitting in controlled lighting, having their hair professionally styled and wearing, as Arnold would say, “Girly-man makeup.” Of course Arnold has very little to input in the Girly-man arena since he has been seen by millions wearing a dress and makeup in ‘Junior‘. I have not been seen by millions whilst in a dress and wearing makeup so I will call Kerry ‘a bit pansy.’ Of course while we make gender reference jokes, if Edwards was a girl, he’d have to be named ‘Sue’ [Man, I’m killing myself here].

Plants
No, not the ones behind them, the ones in the distance producing Suburbans and other quality gas guzzlers. I don’t care if you’re for Bush in the next election, but if Kerry wants to prove that he’s against Bush he needs to not be funding the OilCo’s (that Bush owns some/part of) with his vehicle purchase(s). Kerry however, does not just own gas guzzling vehicles, he’s got a squad of vehicles. John Edwards owns vehicles, but he doesn’t know what they are :).

So, soon, I’ll dig up some fun on Bush and Chenney, except that most liberal groups are doing a great job of making fun of them.